Embers to Ashes

In my house I notice the slight cracking of the leather couches, and the fading of the Oriental rug. Even my dog seems older since the last time I saw her two months ago. You forget that time doesn’t stop once you leave a place.

I feel empty and all I want is bacon. As if the sound of crackling meat can drown out the weighted thoughts in my brain. As if a greasy bite can coat the uneasiness I feel in my stomach.

The clock on the wall is so loud I feel my heart trying to match its rhythm.

I am tired, but want to stay awake because I am finally alone. I feel this house and its residents sucking the vividness I have built up over the past month. Brutal normality is what this place makes me feel. It's suffocating.

My parents think it’s weird that I make bacon at 12am because I like how it sounds. I think it’s weird that they watch five straight hours of primetime television, half of which they are snoring along to.

They are wonderful, caring people, but I can't help but think; is this where they thought their life would be when they were my age? I want excitement, desire, and creativity until the day that I die. Is this a flame that will eventually dwindle down to embers, or even worse ashes? What happens if the dreams you once had, become past hopes that no longer have any relevance in your life?

"To-day is not yesterday.-- We ourselves change.-- How then, can our works and thoughts, if they are always to be the fittest, continue always the same.--Change, indeed, is painful, yet ever needful; and if memory have its force and worth, so also has hope." *Carlyle

The Bicycle Thief

Have you ever half joked about something unfortunate happening, while really hoping that it doesn't, but in all truth never expecting that it will?

Well my friends, that is exactly what has happened to me. My glorious, uber cool, had since I was 11, purple Schwinn mountain bike has been kidnapped, hijacked, fucking shanghaied. I am not sure what is worse: the fact that it was purloined outside of one of my favorite social gathering venues, that I just purchased a rockin' new helmet and bike lights, or that I thought it would be okay to leave it locked up overnight on the Founder's porch as I accepted a car ride home instead.

My buoyancy and naivete have been plundered, and left is a sad hopeless version of my former self. I expect this feeling of low morale to last only until the end of the week, but am afraid my trust in those around me will never be the same. No longer will I leave a door unlocked, or a window open. No longer will I trust a bike lock to do its job! CURSES you Schwinn stealing, morale blowing, panic evoking THEIF! I hope that as you ride my beloved bike down the streets of Grand Rapids, you go too fast down a brick paved street, hit a bump just right, and go flying- knocking your front teeth out as a result.

The Never Aired Scenes of My Last Month in London

At the end of my stay in Kingston Upon Thames, things got extremely busy and I lost all initiative to update this blog.

In honor of my stay in England, I will now tell of my epic last adventures in the country that I have come to love in pictures (mostly because there is too much to write, and I am too lazy to write it)

So here it is, ENJOY!

The Queen's Head Pub <3

Best housemates a gal could ask for

and the last week of my stay, my mum and dad came to visit!

It snowed like CRAZY.

My Birthday Cupcakes!

So many words to describe my semester abroad, but none of them can truly explain what I took away from the experience.

"Our object in travelling should be, not to gratify curiosity, ad seek mere temporary amusement, but to learn, and to venerate, to improve the understanding and the heart." -Gresley

"The joys I have possessed are ever mine; out of thy reach, behind eternity, hid in the sacred treasure of the past, but blest remembrance brings them hourly back."

-Dreyden