Things I Want.

I want to see the world.  I want to smell the crisp mountain air of the Alps, Andes, Appalachians.  I want to feel the sand and feel the breeze of every coast I can.  I want to see where the great civilizations began and where greater men changed the course of history.  I want to make an impact, and create memories that I feel with all of my heart.  I want to taste cuisine from distant lands and speak with locals who tell their life stories.  I want to learn other languages so that I can understand and appreciate those stories.  I want to create and be inspired every single day of my life.  No matter how large or small of a scale.  I want those around me that make me a better person.  I want to be able to live, share, and laugh with those friends.  Friends that become family.  I want to jump off that cliff, from that plane, and be thrilled by my fear.  I hope I never stop feeling fear, because that fear means that I have something new to experience, and most importantly something to lose.  I want to dance under the stars and feel your face against mine.  I want to be enraptured by your presence and captivated by your smile.  I want to know that my life has been remarkable and that I have left traces of my self in the people that I meet, the obstacles I conquer, and the world I create.  I never want to forget the possibilities that hard work brings.  I want to remember a life well lived is the entire purpose of this wonderful chance of existence.   

What is the point of tagging your name?  It doesn't mean anything to anyone yet.  It needs to be in coherence with something that people can relate to, otherwise it's way too easy to pass over.  Make a statement, and then you will have something that people can associate with your brand. 

Found this written as a memo in my phone from months ago.  This is why jotting down thoughts, sketching silly, random ideas should be a common practice.  You never know when you will come across something that will shed new light on a project that you are struggling with.  

Inclinations.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

Everyone can be inspired by the idea, but few will actually push forth.  It depends on how bad you want it.  You can't let things bring you down, that in retrospect will not mean a thing.  So be happy, and don't give up. Because if the potential that I suspect is of any inclination as to what is to come, working this hard and being this passionate will lead to the amazing experiences that people like us crave.  So how bad do you want it?

Embers to Ashes

In my house I notice the slight cracking of the leather couches, and the fading of the Oriental rug. Even my dog seems older since the last time I saw her two months ago. You forget that time doesn’t stop once you leave a place.

I feel empty and all I want is bacon. As if the sound of crackling meat can drown out the weighted thoughts in my brain. As if a greasy bite can coat the uneasiness I feel in my stomach.

The clock on the wall is so loud I feel my heart trying to match its rhythm.

I am tired, but want to stay awake because I am finally alone. I feel this house and its residents sucking the vividness I have built up over the past month. Brutal normality is what this place makes me feel. It's suffocating.

My parents think it’s weird that I make bacon at 12am because I like how it sounds. I think it’s weird that they watch five straight hours of primetime television, half of which they are snoring along to.

They are wonderful, caring people, but I can't help but think; is this where they thought their life would be when they were my age? I want excitement, desire, and creativity until the day that I die. Is this a flame that will eventually dwindle down to embers, or even worse ashes? What happens if the dreams you once had, become past hopes that no longer have any relevance in your life?

"To-day is not yesterday.-- We ourselves change.-- How then, can our works and thoughts, if they are always to be the fittest, continue always the same.--Change, indeed, is painful, yet ever needful; and if memory have its force and worth, so also has hope." *Carlyle

The Bicycle Thief

Have you ever half joked about something unfortunate happening, while really hoping that it doesn't, but in all truth never expecting that it will?

Well my friends, that is exactly what has happened to me. My glorious, uber cool, had since I was 11, purple Schwinn mountain bike has been kidnapped, hijacked, fucking shanghaied. I am not sure what is worse: the fact that it was purloined outside of one of my favorite social gathering venues, that I just purchased a rockin' new helmet and bike lights, or that I thought it would be okay to leave it locked up overnight on the Founder's porch as I accepted a car ride home instead.

My buoyancy and naivete have been plundered, and left is a sad hopeless version of my former self. I expect this feeling of low morale to last only until the end of the week, but am afraid my trust in those around me will never be the same. No longer will I leave a door unlocked, or a window open. No longer will I trust a bike lock to do its job! CURSES you Schwinn stealing, morale blowing, panic evoking THEIF! I hope that as you ride my beloved bike down the streets of Grand Rapids, you go too fast down a brick paved street, hit a bump just right, and go flying- knocking your front teeth out as a result.

The Never Aired Scenes of My Last Month in London

At the end of my stay in Kingston Upon Thames, things got extremely busy and I lost all initiative to update this blog.

In honor of my stay in England, I will now tell of my epic last adventures in the country that I have come to love in pictures (mostly because there is too much to write, and I am too lazy to write it)

So here it is, ENJOY!

The Queen's Head Pub <3

Best housemates a gal could ask for

and the last week of my stay, my mum and dad came to visit!

It snowed like CRAZY.

My Birthday Cupcakes!

So many words to describe my semester abroad, but none of them can truly explain what I took away from the experience.

"Our object in travelling should be, not to gratify curiosity, ad seek mere temporary amusement, but to learn, and to venerate, to improve the understanding and the heart." -Gresley

"The joys I have possessed are ever mine; out of thy reach, behind eternity, hid in the sacred treasure of the past, but blest remembrance brings them hourly back."

-Dreyden

Thanksgiving

So the day started out like any other day. I went through the general morning day routines, but my day began to differ as I packed my suitcase full of casserole dishes and roasting pans. When I threw in a couple mini-looking pitch forks, I knew things were getting serious. With my supplies neatly packed up, I headed out into the frosty english morning to fetch myself a turkey.

It is a bit sad to be without one's family on a celebrated holiday like today. It's even sadder to realize that your mom won't be there to run the kitchen and man the recipes as you watch, your mind alluding to a conductor directing his symphony. Feeling like a kid who dreams of standing up in front of a crowd with only his or her underwear on, exposed and overwhelmed, I stressed that this meal had to be one for the books. Luckily I had my best bud Claire by my side, and we...

***unfortunately I never finished this post, and now it is more than seven months later, and my memory is not quite sharp enough to finish the description of this epic past day. What I can tell you is that my friends and I made a glorious and delicious Thanksgiving dinner while in Kingston. I am now completely able to cook my own turkey, and will never again be frightened (which is an understatement) when the turkey is so fresh that it still has it's ankles attached (which we initially thought horrifically was its head).

Happy Thanksgiving (seven+ months late :x )